smorgasboard of ugly and confusion (go back »)

Huh. Yes, let's all stand around and laugh about how badly you are playing. How fun.
So a picture of Pelf exists that I must warn you, is creepy beyond reason and logic.
GAH.
It's like he heard an innocent child drop a pin and wanted to see what all the commotion was about. Then he invited the child into his van with candy and goodies.

And apparently this face needed to be made. In what situation is this face necessary?

I have a strong feeling Whitey in the middle hates people, and really wants to destroy the friendship bridge here.

Okay Tranq? I must say, that face is half of the reason Alaska went to war. That, and seals.

Why is everyone helping IKE on the balance beam of hilariousness? 

Here's Fridge, shielding his face from acne.

Here's Pacora, getting ready to karate chop someone in the face. Grimace is amazed, mostly because he thinks food is coming his way.
Apparently every baseball player must pose with a fish at some point in their lives.

Yes, hooray, you wear t-shirts and aren't made of clay. Are you even on a boat?
And Pettitte, really, that fish is so pissed off at you. Especially because why are you attempting to match Chipper's clothing? 
...on closer examination, is that Pelfrey's evil twin Clark Smirkleton? Why do they have different last names? Who names their son Clark? Would this twin really be the evil one?

A cigar is not a fish. Nor is it a wang. Please calm down and stop.
If you are not confused by the next picture, God bless you. Especially if you sneezed.

I don't know what I am looking at, nor do I ever want to.
Rumor has it that Pacora makes "Uh oh Doodie" face when he is confused or aroused
So, I suppose he is confused as to why he is aroused by this fella.
Yes, that is so bonerific I might cry.

Perhaps Andy should stop being delighted at telling Rimrod that he found some food by pickpocketing. Rimrod appears to keep telling Andy that all this land could be his. Not sure what any of that has to do with anything.

Perhaps it has something to do with them attempting to make up 2/5ths of the olympic rings with their arms. 

Perhaps it has to do with...OH GOD. First of all why is Texmex so sweaty and about to blow chunks? And why is that poor old man so frightened that something violent might happen at any second?
Speaking of violence, this is the most violently scary trio to ever exist in anything ever.

It's like Moses parted the red sea and these three were waiting there ready to start a duel, Pokemon style.

HA.
First of all, what?
Secondly, the guy with beard's facial expression sums up all of the emotions I am feeling at this exact moment, even though he really isn't doing much of anything.

Oh Grimace, your ridiculous big glove and ridiculous drunk (?) face reminds me that I need to go check if the criminals are still hiding in David's stove.

Thanks Cabrera. I always dreamed of seeing a bright green condom appear from your mouth.

I...think this guy is stuck. Shall we help? No, never.

You fell too soon, and no one plans on helping you up, turtle pants.

Holy crap, John Maine has crazy eye here. I think he is attempting to explain why he had to leave the game after 5 pitches. Something about a tuba and some chewing gum? Or a hernia in his elbow? Why isn't he fired yet?

No, you cannot raise your hand like we are in a classroom and ask why I think you should be fired. Go pick up the trash and take a nap.

Looking at Jerry like you want to unhinge your jaw and eat him isn't helping your case either.

Don't stare at me with a creepy half eye, you know what I said is true and not just convenient.

Bwahahahah Dirty D looks fake in this picture. And why is he looping his arm around fatty's chunky thigh? For warmth?

This guy hates, HATES doing yoga. But he must, for the children.

If I were to take a wild guess, I would say the catcher is blind and wants to see what ugly people feel like. 

Old man...what exactly are you doing? That belt is probably what made the catcher blind in the first place. And the bat boy is watching what you are attempting to steal, so maybe just give up and become a telephone operator.

Listen up, unless there is a bunch of candy on the ground, can everyone look normally and play the game?
Grump ump is clearly ready to put Nyjer (awkward name) in a headlock. Or a bear trap.

Why is Strawberry attempting to grab...Vanilla (Coffee? Coco bean? Hmm) and explain how to put a dresser together? 

Please stop explaining how butt cheeks are made to everyone you see.
Look, you made Oswalt the Octopus cry here, cut it out.

Why are you so fucking confused? Run around, and sit down normally, shit.

Holy crap! Evil. Rollins better watch his back, literally, I am so afraid of what could happen I need a numchuck for protection.

Um, are you planning on coiling yourself into a pile like a snake? Just let us know, please.

David is telling ump he has to poop. I think. Perhaps.

Are you planning on revealing a huge mustache on your face?

This guy wears his mustache loud and proud, though for the love of God, he shouldn't.
Speaking of awful facial hair issues...

What are Piazza (who looks like a stamp without facial hair) and John Franco (who is fucking old) doing together at the same time? Probably becoming carpenters.

I can't tell for sure, really I never can, but I think guy to the right is really angry about Coco Puffs. It doesn't take much to get him angry though so I have no clue.
I base that all on his "Say what cracker?" face, even though that guy is his black son. Whatever.

Pretty sure no one's face is supposed to do that. Clayton. Who the fuck is Clayton? You? Fuck you.
Let's finish the evening with Tex Mex looking like Snorlax when he accidently eats Prunes.

Or when he is auditioning for a musical called "Rainbows and Unicorns: Passion!"

or when he imitates a balloon pump?

I'll be honest, I have too much fun with this buttmunch.

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