Pelf probably can't help himself (go back »)
May 13 2010, 1:45 PM

To a giant plate of shit mixed with potatos and chyrsanthemums. Also, could you smirk less for the sake of tiny children everywhere? At least try fuckface.

Um, thanks, random fuck for offering me your testicle that you painted to look like a baseball.
Your confused face just makes me believe you actually knew that was his testicle. Stop pretending.

Fridge's war paint plus the creepy seductive way he is ogling that bat make me think it's time to play "Uh oh, Pettitte face."

You are not even a pitcher. Plus, skipping isn't cool.

Nor is the old man electric slide. Seriously, you are disqualified, please get your complimentary handkerchief on the way out.

You aren't a pitcher either, but your creepy stink eye makes me want to start vacuuming the carpet for some reason.
Well, at least you pitch. And you are asian, so clearly not a pettitte persona. However, your arm is dirty and your face is stretching to no end so congrats on the prize that doesn't exist.

But you sir, you are disgruntled and discombulated. And your name is Camp. Let's pitch a tent in your face and call it a day.
And finally, the award for "guy who is trying way to hard, holy shit calm down" goes to Basket Weaver here...

Gotta admit, the facial hair ain't helping either. Go get help.
Godzilla is probably confused as to how he sees an older, more mature version of himself in the sky. "Uh oh, donuts!"

I'm sure the catcher's mask is quite uncomfortable in this sexy position.

Dammit tranq, you are not an inept triangle. Get the ball!

Approaching it like a careful hippo in the wild doesn't help either.

Threatening umps won't put food on your table. It will also get your skirt in a bunch so calm down.

Since when is Terry Francona Harry Potter in a horrible disguise?

I think whitey believes if he touches hands with other guy, there hands will light up magically and rainbows will sprinkle candy onto the field.
Uh....no.

Look, fancy guy, we didn't do the chicken dance yesterday. Today, we will not participate in the hustle or whatever is happening here. Please stop trying.

Here's IKE attempting to stop drop and roll onto poor guy that has no idea why fire drills are occuring.

And uh...here's IKE again, waiting patiently for Francoeur to...nevermind. Won't even go there.

Although I'm sure Francoeur can't wait for that nice, tasty...pound. cake. That still sounded awkward.

What is this, the princess and the pea? Stand up!

Um, saying princess was not your cue to appear. Now I have to go take my eyes out and use chopsticks to eat.

Is this Mighty Ducks V-ish pose supposed to intimidate me? Because it doesn't. Go get hockey pucks and glass jaws, then we can talk.
These hooligans probably think the cure for finding the perfect pair of slacks is in that ball. Don't tell them otherwise Davis, just let them fight and claw their way to retardedness.
Stop. You're doing it wrong.

Oh, so black condom umps are back? Hooray for this proud moment.
What the hell is this guy contemplating, how to roast corn on the cob?

Hmm...several fantastic things happening here. One, guy in white shirt all the way to the left is extremely concerned about absolutely nothing. Two, the one black guy who looks like Wayne Brady. And of course, three, the kid in the striped shirt that is trying so hard when, really? We all secretly hope you fall over the railing.

More ridiculous fan shots. Apparently things are getting "unruly" meaning...wait, is that guy on the right A-Rod? No, stop rimrod, nobody wants to take a picture with you. Fuck you and your ridiculous apparel.

In completely unrelated and stupid news, Man Goodies is supposed to make a comeback two years ago. Seriously, what have you been doing this entire time, sucking eggs?
Oh. Alright, well stop, and come back to pitching so I can make fun of you.
This post never ends, does it?
Okay, thanks for the reaction. And are your hands made of wax soap?

Yes, guy, we understand a "sweep" but parading this brooms around is unnecessary. Who brings brooms to a party anyway, are you secretly Mr. Clean?

I think Carpenter face is giving a speech to...the other team. Possibly trying to tell them about the time someone attacked his legs with staplers and blunt objects. They all seem to care for some reason.

Why is jeterplug all "Oh, bat, why have you failed me yet again?" Like it's the bat that makes decisions and flunked out of college?
This is apparently the only position Gayday can be in.
I think he's stuck and needs someone to pull him out of the ridiculous pokemon pose.

Here's horse tranq confirming all of the children's beliefs that he is still addicted to, well, the horse tranqs.

For some reason sea weasel is all that came to mind here. Simmer down, freaky.
Shall we play another game called "HOly shit are you guys gay?" Cue the clown music.

Oh, OH almost kissing and....dirty bumkins. This could be uncomfortable at family gatherings.

Calm down, really awkard thin man. You will wait your turn like the rest of the awkard kin behind you.
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