no Padres, it's Mother's day grow up! (go back »)

Although really, you Padres should treat yourselves to some pants that don't make you look like janitors who roam throughout the night looking for feces and playing hackey sack with stoners' textbooks.
Yea yea  we see your broken contact Girardi now go sit down with your socks and your jaundice.
Speaking of a yellow sock...

Can you be less of an anal cavity?

I guess not. Also, what are you about to grab and hug and stuff into your pocket? A large tennis ball? Holy hell, all sorts of conclusions can be made here.

Jeter, your butt plugish face was not one of the conclusions. Take your obese rubber band and run into the wild.

God, how angry is that one child? Is he the son of Satan, or Cabrera in disguise? Or perhaps, and this is quite the long shot, his eyebrows are just naturally angry and unpleasant?

Yes, okay, alright Braden, you pitched a perfect game. Now can you just not act like you have the ability to turn fish into lamp posts or walk on water that isn't frozen over? Thanks
What...what the fuck are you randomly smiling at? No one cares why you are sitting there like a dump waiting to be taken by Coco Crisp, just stand up fatty and TRAIN.
There is no limbo stick please get up.

Holy shit fish, since when is karate allowed in baseball?

Here's old Dirty David, punching the air due to his favorite daytime soap, "Dirty Bubbles" being canceled.
This guy probably makes meatloaf with his BARE HANDS. 

And this schmuck believes in conspiracy theories about dinosaurs and the Elvis face he found in his toast.
To conclude, someone is back to petting men who are named after burritos. And it's not pettitte if you catch my pun.

Yes. Feel the love.