meet the meats...sorry mets (go back »)

Hey bay bay! How did your day go?

Okay there was no need, NO NEED AT ALL, for you to spit at me. And clean up that disgusting grass stain, we all know you got it from playing with your pet whistle.
On a note that makes more sense...kinda...

apparently the new fad in Philly land is running onto the field and being defecated upon by three men.
Or being attacked by Tasy McTaserton.

Holy intense face, mister! I also appreciate the holy fuck face on the kid, like he knows, HE KNOWS.
Don't ask me, I don't know. I am not a retarded philly fan.
And yes, all of this tomfoolery is probably because you showed me your retainer. Quit acting surprised.

I like to think that Milton Bradley here is talking to the children about Monopoly and Candyland. But in reality it's probably more like "I enjoy the occasional whore."

Ah. This threesome of....tablecloth folders probably shouldn't hip bump ever again. It causes earthquakes and mass confusion. 

Pettitte the human Pancake looks like he just woke up from a coma, and doesn't know what's going OH JESUS THERE'S A BALL COMING STRAIGHT TOWARDS MY FACE, WHO AM I?
He...should probably move. Out the way.

Or look creepily at Joe Girardi eating worms out of the ground. 

Don't deny it if you can't supply it. And by it I mean evidence that you are big bird.
I suppose I understand the excitement, but please...now I know he actually does have two round buttcheeks and I was hoping to keep it a secret from myself.

Why is Chipper laughing (is that what is occuring in his facial region?) about tiny giraffes? Weed?

Oh. This. Yes, I would make a cartoonish face if I saw WTF Aids here constipated to no end.

Scene from the new horror flick "Oh shit here comes gray legs, let's slither away in the grass because I can't find my wheelchair oh shit don't tell me the elevator doesn't work oh no!"

Hey can you not die on the wall? Thanks.

Oh oh OH NO! Seriously? No words. Except artichokes for some reason.

Hey dirty d, where are you taking Louie, the moon?
Oh. Okay. Well come back soon, we need to purchase pants.

In Sports