FIRST PLACE for at least a couple more hours (go back »)

So Grimace and the rest of the team with terrets is somehow in first without bribing any umps.

Oh. Well, okay, maybe Grimace did. Or didn't. I can't tell because he never STOPS FUCKING GRINNING SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND STARE AWKWARDLY AT NOTHING.

uh, okay, holy twelve chin I don't need to see your pores and gray beard hairs. But slight improvement.

Cock....Cox is all 'Ehhhhhh, I hit the jukebox, shit happens, chicks dig me, thumbs up, jump the shark, boobs"

Why are you confused? Oh...boobs are those two things on women.

And no...no those are microphones. MICROPHONES, not...nevermind ask Jeter these questions.

Ok, who rudely shit on Tex Mex's suit? I blame any of the three condom hats to the right. Girardi can't poop.
 
Wait. You shit on your own suit? For medical purposes? And you purchased a ridiculous amount of obesely large rubber bands? Fuck off.
Ok, thanks, ridiculously tiny picture of rimrod guffawing over his test tube children.

Why do I feel like Posada just smelled what the Rock is cooking and by that I mean Girardi farted because he can finally poop again?

BIG LAUGH at the oriole with the creepy fuck glasses who is backing up like a truck and all "I don't touch children"
by the way creep, that guy is not a child, just a midget in disguise. Ask Texmex he would know.

Uh huh, um, CLOSE YOUR FUCKING MOUTHS. It's like they don't understand what the actual purpose of the obese rubber bands and nostrils are. Also, I'm not really sure why he would understand midgets in disguise. At the time it made more sense.

Now Francouer is all dirty pop because he rolled in a ball pit with a snake and Justin Timberlake's bodyguard.
This guy is confused by branches and twigs. Perhaps he should ask the Boxcar children for assistance?

Excuse me, in what way or shape are any of you Boxcar children? Your standing in...some sort of retarded circle. And you aren't cool. Step off.


 That was in no way your cue to appear, but here's Maineface, confused in his wax museum.

Oh I'm sorry did you decide to replace tranqs with childish necklaces and cornrows? Well, don't. Go play spud with the potato club.