Is it time? (go back »)

How do you know it's time for the mukluk of what we like to call " Mets Baseball Season" to begin?

When Pelf creeps around with a pedophile beard and two lazy eyes, you know it's time.

When the entire team decides to play "Imitate the Antelope who will die first in the herd", it's definitely time.

When David gets all Justin Timberlake glasses on our asses and licks the fiberglass, it might be time? Possibly?

When Bay still looks like he has a concussion, you know it's time to beat him with a baseball bat and replace him with a grizzly bear.
When Horse tranq is still...

Ahem, sorry...when horse tranq is STILL...

o...ok, I quiet, I quiet.

When Murph reappears quietly, but awkwardly, and the fruitbat behind him shoves a fist up his belt buckle, it's not time. So we stay confused about that.
And finally

When Man Goodies decides to puke up his bowel movements, you know...oh, by the way...

This? Scares me beyond belief. Besides the whole creepy porcelein doll face and vein that is about to make it's own theme song, why is he suddenly a Met? Who will explain this poppycock?

No. What is this I don't even